Live at the witch trials 

Bravery

Like the Kinkster I really like being woken in the middle of the night. Its a good sign your not an adult or dead or as usually is the case both. This 4am it was a friend whose wife had just been taken into the delivery room. He was worried and tired and carless which is where I came in.
I also found out today that some other friends lives had been hanging by a thread this weekend


We come in on a chord and hope not to go out on one. Bravery is a forty five kilo woman in labour for a day and a half. It is being able to trust yourself enough to have something completely reliant on you.

I am an adult get me out of here

This program shows that people living at home with their parents are mindless blood sucking parasites on their parents and living with them is tantamount to an invasive cavity search with a chainsaw.

This program has the slick self assured air you always get when someone is selling you something. Oh the presenter owns a mortgage company? Strangely he will make money by convincing people the lifestyle he is suggesting is the only correct one for humans. What is on next week? How to eat you young from the makers of a maternity ward? I’m a celebrity “I am going to sell you things you do not need, now move onto the cattle truck you sedated herd animal”
Most people in all of human history has always lived with there parents. From the Eskimos that did not have two seal skins to rub together to the masi tribesmen who didn’t have two goat skins to rub together large extended family and tribal groups is what people are designed to live in.

Vonnegut put it this way “Now those of you who get married or are married, when you fight with your spouse, what each of you will be saying to the other one actually is, ''You’re not enough people. You're only one person. I should have hundreds of people around.''”

Why is this walking advertisement for social alienation on television? I live a hermit like existence in a well fortified cave and sit each evening in my rocking chair shooting at shadows. That is the life I choose, I do not go on television making people feel bad that they are not crazed solitary troglodytes who consume heroic doses of booze.
This is another example of people selling you stuff you do not need. Like that advertisement for the cream to avoid shiny face when you open a fridge. The one where the euro trash girly man now has the confidence to open a fridge with out having to worry about being carted off to a newly reopened leper colony that holds the masses of those afflicted with shiny face. That ad is usually shown before the lets hunt and kill anyone with any body hair ad.

Can we not rename it "You are a gobshite get the hell away from me".

The fathomless tragedy of Sesame Street

A quick run down of the cast of Sesame Street will illustrate what and appalling misery fest it is.
The Grouch is clearly mentally ill. He is homeless and in need of anti depressants. Laughing at a mad guy who lives in a bin is cruel.
Let us teach children the fun of numbers with a member of the undead, the Count. Why not teach grammar with a zombie if you think vampires are the cure for innumeracy. While I am on the subject how come vampire parties are always so cool? Blade, the Hunger, Vampiros Lesbos they really seem to know how to throw a party. Can you imagine the Count hanging round at one of these bashes?
Finally is a tale of Sisyphean woe. Cookie monster is a simple guy with one simple pleasure. He loves cookies. Not so hard to make him happy you would think, but every time he gets a mouthful of cookies he has to puke them up off to the side of camera. He is bulimic. He has no esophagus and so has to vomit up the one thing he really loves. Tantalus himself did not have this level of torture inflicted upon him. Here is a monster whose sole raison d’etre is being destroyed by his eating disorder.
Anyone else see hidden pathos in the works of Jim Henson?

Why shout at Hummers

I have heard many arguments as to why Hummers are awful. If you want to shout wanker at them becuase of thier lack of social conscience that is fine. However my main reason is that they are clearly driven by wankers.
The great Irish icons, Michael Collins, John F Kennedy and Pope John Paul II all had the balls to get shot in open topped cars. Now we have these wankers driving round in armored personnel carriers? How much risk are they really in? Have they invented modern urban guerrilla warfare, lead a side in a civil war, broke up the mafia, invaded cuba or attempted to topple communism? Until you can prove you have done something to piss off lots of angry people with guns you should grow a pair and not drive round in a tank.

One off the list

Managed to scratch one off the list of "100 things to do before you die" yesterday. There was a guy driving a Hummer beside me at the traffic light. Got out pointed at him and shouted "wanker". In retrospect he was clearly Russian mafia but it still had to be done.
For all the talk of friendliness it is actually massive black cynacism and begrudgery that defines the Irish. We seemed to have lost the ability to point at obvious wankers and point out their wankertude to them.
Show where you have joined the fight on the map

A Modest Proposal Concerning Air Travel

The wasteful and needless use of seating on planes is a topic that has bothered me for some time. Airbus seem part of the way to solving this most inefficient situation. I contend however that this plan does not go far enough.In comparison to standing passengers completely supine passengers have numerous benefits as will be described below.
By use of a general anesthetic on passengers they can be packed much more efficiently. Also unconscious passengers require little or no attention from airline staff members. Other advantages arise from unconscious passengers, Security risks are significantly lower in the catatonic.

Much needed medical procedures can be carried out using the period of docility created by the use of anaesthetics. In a similar way to tranquilizing wild carnivores allows for dentistry, immunization and sterilisation the period of unconsciousness could be used as a major public health resource ,one in which the unfortunate characteristics of conscious patients can be avoided.

Rather then the unpleasant and possible dangerous configuration of piling passengers on top of each other, some form of individual compartment is preferable. The size and luxuriousness of compartments can be used to separate passengers into cost categories to allow income maximization.
Here an optimization problem arises. For reasons of physics planes tend to be built in a shape resembling a cylinder. Humans as luck would have it also bear an approximately cylindrical shape. This fact means that instead of a wasteful coffin like compartment a more efficient and aesthetically pleasing cylindrical container can be used. This is not as efficient as a hexagonal configuration but aerodynamic and in the short term morphological constrains prevent this superior shape being used.
I have included an picture describing a sample configuration that could be used when packing passengers into plane .

I hope you consider my proposal and see the economic and social benefits to unconscious passengers.

Everything Sounds Like Coldplay

In Lady Barbara in 1972 Umberto Eco wrote that

The destiny of a beautiful song is thus to be very ugly, except for one little, humble, marvelous central moment, which must die at once, so that when it returns it will be hailed