Dead Friends 

Dead Friends

How come your dead friends don’t get any older? I get balder and fatter and they stay awkward and spotty. Every now and again you look in the mirror and I remember that I used to have hair and then you see one of them smiling back at you and realise there is worse things to lose then hair.

How about we start a company where we create pictures of dead people so you can imagine there off in a foreign country? We age them over the years to stop the horrible cognitive dissonance of seeing them the same. Once you have a few sets of photos bulk photoshopping them would be easy. We could make photos of marriages to other dead people so that we make two sets of photos for the price of one.

The idea of pretending your friends are still alive might seem weird but we tell children that fido “went to live in the country” and this is the same idea. Maybe were allowed do that because kids are stupid but then smart people would be allowed lie to me.

Maybe you think you should not lie to children but then why all the Santa Claus hype? “It’s the magic of childhood”, why not tell them that your parents buy you presents because they want you to be happy. I find it magical that someone was willing to clothe, feed, shelter and buy me presents me for years. Pretending that your parents love and efforts are actually done by a stranger is a bit weird.

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